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YourLMG February 2011

Friday

Thanks Emma

generosity

Some people are talented givers.

Generosity flows from some people like other things flow from people with other talents. It comes from them without ceremony and inducts others into their world where instinct is temporarily forgotten. This generosity comes like words or music, and it is reacted to as natural, and it does not provoke the uncomfortableness of being “in debt”.

Some people are learned givers.

They give, but with an awareness of consequence, and with excessive vehemence. They feel the pain of loss, and they feel the pride of overcoming this feeling of loss, and they exult maniacally in the joy of giving. They compensate for their unnaturalness with stoicism. When they give, they are like deceitful children, and their inner workings can never be completely concealed. Their giving is stiff and awkward, and it is received in the same fashion.

With a learned giver, the recipient is always aware of the fact that he is receiving.
He feels the debt which he is brought into by the act of giving. He is not able to forget this, as he is able to with the talented giver.

But it is generosity nonetheless.

The learned giver is not a bad person, he is just not blessed with the natural talent of generosity. He has done all he can, and he is to be treated with respect, pity and generosity.

about jazz music and trying hard

I much prefer jazz music to jazz. I prefer it as an idea, and I prefer to talk about it, too. It feels better when it comes out of your mouth. And it’s more of a true thing.

When I am in a small and well-known club, and they are playing music in the grubbiness, and I have one beer (sitting down), and the rhythm alone commands my attention and my affection for two hours, I say to myself: “I love jazz music“, and it feels like a homecoming.

I do not mention jazz by itself.

The word jazz is for magazines, for people with silly hats, for television and for aspiring people. Jazz is something played on a jazz guitar. Jazz music is something played during the war, or in the jungle.

Jazz is something for amateurs to love and for classical musicians to hate. Jazz music can avoid that nastiness. In a way, the phrase jazz music sounds even more tired than the word jazz, and so it collapses in on itself. Through that movement it shakes itself free of connotation, and builds up an energy.

I think that what I experience when I say jazz music, and what I feel when I hear music and think of it as jazz music, is a private joy.

If I was a brilliant musician I would be playing jazz music right now, and not splitting hairs. I would play, and I would probably call it jazz, but it would be jazz music.